Recently, an outbreak of senioritis has broken out around the school. Most students in 12th grade have most likely contracted the illness and those who haven’t yet been afflicted are at high risk. Symptoms are so contagious that underclassmen could catch the sickness as well. Symptoms can include dozing off in school, procrastination, and impatience. School personnel should know that the inflicted are to be treated carefully and cautiously, for even faculty cannot evade senioritis.

For those students who have fallen to prey this vicious plague, there are antidotes that could at the very least alleviate the pain of running that last mile to the finish line. First, sleep as often and as long as possible. The only way to sweat senioritis out is through napping and getting to bed at a decent time.

Next, if there is time available in school, work on homework. What would be even better is getting ahead on assigned readings, review packets, and notes.

If these remedies are ineffective and students still exhibit signs of senioritis, they should give themselves some type of incentive to go on, including food or money.

If none of these solutions fixes the onset of symptoms, the student will have to wait it out. Unfortunately, side effects of this could greatly damage grades and further lead to a drop in grade point average, which could cause class rank to change. If someone suspects themselves or a classmate of having senioritis, approach a parent or teacher who might be able to offer some form of assistance or advice that could lessen the effects of this rampant disease. If all else fails, students should then go to guidance or administration and talk to them about any issues that seem unfixable.

This has been an official report of the Student Center for Disease Control.